Show Journal 1999-08-10
Day 4 – After an attempt at a shower that none of us could operate we drove onward to the worlds largest concrete buffalo and also the home of the albino buffalo. We never saw the albino one, but the huge concrete one was dope. On the way to Minneapolis Dave got a speeding ticket for doing 60 is 35 construction zone. Sounds bad? It only cost $55. We seem to have picked up several flies that will not leave the van. It’s hard to sleep or read with flies buzzing around you. The show tonight at 7th Street Entry rocked hard. We got a real good reaction from the staff, but the alternative/hippie club goers weren’t too thrilled with it. Face to Face was playing the main stage when we got there and we got to watch a tiny bit of their set. I love that place, good sound, good atmosphere and a long history of great bands. Tonight we ate $5 steak and eggs and slept in a Wisconsin truck stop. We also decided to name our next band Firmest Thermos. Never mind.
Show Journal 1999-08-09
Day 3 – At the crack of dawn we got up and headed down to the Ford dealer and the van and were greeted by the biggest cock sucking redneck jerk off I’ve ever met. In a nutshell the guy refused to fix our van. Period. We were very polite and we very kindly explained that we were stranded. He flat out refused to help us. He said he might be able to get to it in 6 days. There was one car in the garage and he said it had been there a whole week. Knowing that he was our only hope, we remained polite and tried to make him feel like he was helping us. He still refused. He wouldn’t even tell us where else to go to get it looked at. What an ass. I thought this kind of backwoods mentality didn’t exist in real life. I can’t believe Ford tolerates that kind of shit. While Dave was arguing with captain redneck, Jim and I realized that the van had easily cooled down overnight and sure enough it started right up. How long it would run, we didn’t know but rather than sit around Philip we decided to make a run for Pierre. We knew that even if we only made it 40 miles we could at least get it towed to Pierre where they surely have more than one car dealer in town. For some reason, the van ran great and we made it all the way to Onida, SD (an hour past Pierre). We decided to stop there to have lunch (ok, an MRE) and let the van cool down some more. Here we are in this tiny town (Pop. 750) sitting in a park eating lunch, we look around and realize we are not even 100 yards from a small auto repair shop. We go in, explain the situation and all the mechanics immediately drop what they are doing and come help us. They diagnose the problem almost immediately and start fixing it for us. One guy even skipped his lunch break to get us on the road sooner. It’s amazing you can go from the biggest lowlife pile of shit, to the nicest people so quickly. So that’s how we got out fuel pump fixed … dumb luck. The good news was we were fixed, the bad news was that it cost $500. Still though, driving without the fear of a breakdown is very nice. Things started to pick up from here, we could now use the air conditioner again, we saw some tumbleweed, and we even sold a cd in a gas station to a clerk. We also found the ever elusive Sport Shake in a gas station. At some point during the drive we all began impersonating the voice and likeness of the world’s tallest woman. I know it sounds weird, but it’s terribly amusing. We saw a restaurant called the Space Alien cafe, where we stopped to take part in some hot wings. We arrived to Bismarck to a coffee shop that typically books acoustic bands. I still wonder if they really knew what they were getting into. Some kid named Mitch showed us around town and took us to the music stores. A local band called Duck Dodger opened for us. They played on our equipment and were pretty cool. The show went well, Jim did really good (since it was his first show with us) and we made enough for gas money. That night we stayed with Sam who gave us pizza and let us stay in his basement. Well, actually it was his parent’s house and they were very nice … they bought stuff and made up pizza (thanks for the shirts Greg!).
Show Journal 1999-08-08
Day 2 – We woke up and discovered today’s show was an early one (2:00) and we would probably be late. Also we discovered that Pierre is in another time zone which would make us even later. Needless to say we had the van floored all the way into Wyoming. I took a nap and when I woke up we were stalled on the road in the middle of Wyoming. Jim tried to diagnose the problem but it was all in vain. We tried the cell phone, but it doesn’t get real far in the middle of Wyoming. After about 30 minutes, the engine cooled off and somehow we were able to start it again and drive about another hour … until it died again. We did the “drive until it dies, stop, let it cool and start going again” routine all the way into South Dakota where we were actually pulled over by the police. We were issued a warning for having an object dangling from the rear view mirror. Yes, I’m dead serious about that. I think they just wanted to scope out the van because of the crowds heading into Sturgis. Speaking of which, Sturgis is nuts. We got off at the exit there to get gas and it was amazing. Bikes of every shape and color. Something like 300,000 people show up during the week. It was really cool to see. Anyway, we continued limping along in the broken van (driving, waiting, driving) all the way past Wall Drug (where we stopped to get stickers). By now we were 2 hours late with an hour to go, and driving through the middle of the Badlands. Then it happened, the van gave out for good. It was late afternoon by now, the show was long over, we were 40 miles from a town, and it was almost 104 degrees. Luckily we were about a mile from a gas station. No town, no hotel at the exit, just one gas station. The gas station was inhabited by about 100 bikers (remember it’s Sturgis week) but we risked death and called Dave’s motor club for a tow. We headed back to the crippled van and waited for about an hour. Somewhere during that time Dave decided that he wanted to name a song “Kenny Rodgers Roasters, God I Love that Shit.” Eventually the truck showed and we got towed to Philip, SD. Philip was the home of the nearest Ford Dealer and we were forced to stay in some crappy hotel that cost us 55 dollars. We ordered a pizza and I swear it came from a freezer and was stuck in a delivery box. The tour is looking very bleak at this point.
Show Journal 1999-08-07
Day 1 – Tour number two started off with a long drive, almost 900 miles to be exact. The first show is in Pierre, so it’s two days of straight driving until Pierre. We started off the sightseeing extravaganza with a trip to the Stonehenge replica in Washington. I think we must have upset a higher power, because when we crossed into Montana there was a wild freakish hailstorm that appears to have dented the roof of the van. We think it could have been due to the fact that Jim spoke Bolthrower’s name in vain. After the storm we had the 800 Octane “save money on tour” ritual of eating MRE’s … US Army meals in a bag that can last upwards of 20 years. Yum. After that it was downhill with hundreds of miles of ‘your mama’ jokes … the best one being something about having to “cover her ears so she can’t hear all of the terrible things I’m saying to her.” Night one started with sleep in a truck stop. The beard of shame contest has begun as well.
Show Journal 1999-06-10
The Hookers cancelled tonight! That sucked so bad, because Dave and I were dying to see them. We listen to their CD 24-7 and quote their lines all the time. Bummer. Anyway, I wasn’t quite sure who Family Sex Jackpot was but when they showed up I was pleasantly surprised. It’s the guitar player from Zeke (damn he’s good) and his band of obscenely heavy Sabbath style rock. Think Melvins, just heavier, gnarlier and better. Highly recommended. Fresh off their tour, Witch Throttlegush played with us too. Those guys seriously rock now. Our set was pretty good. The highlight for us was when we changed the lyrics of Feeding Time to “sha-sha-sha-ba.” This way we can give props to Shabba Ranks (the lover man) and also one of our friends and the nickname he hates so much. For those who understood it was terribly amusing for everyone else it was a bit bizarre. At least we couldn’t rhyme “Buttermilk Barry” … he hates than more than Shabba.
Show Journal 1999-05-20
Tonight was pretty fun. The Secludes are way rad and the place we played at was pretty cool. One special treat, was that the club has a big projection TV screen behind the stage. The first couple of songs we had basketball on behind us (go Blazers!), but after the third song a magical thing happened … they began to show Godzilla vs. Megalon, the best Godzilla movie around. It’s the troubled tale of a boy, a scientist and a super high tech prototype robot. Spies sent by an alien race try to steal the robot, and when things go amiss they call on Megalon (a giant cockroach) to tear things up. Typical monster movie action ensues, and after an appearance by the reclusive Gigan, Godzilla teams up with Jet Jaguar to save the day. Japan can breathe easily again … until the next time evil forces require his service. Oh yeah, the show was ok too.
Show Journal 1999-05-04
Our legacy of opening for international bands continues. First we played with a band from Japan, then a few months later Canada and tonight we opened for a band from Australia. I guess it’s our smooth continental sound. Eddie Would Go was the Australian band in question and they totally made it a fun evening. They were funny, their songs were catchy, and they were just plain old cool to hang out with. We wish them the best of luck on the rest of their tour. Our set went down pretty well too. The doggfather said it was “amazing.” I wouldn’t go that far, but if Nate likes it then it had to been OK. One really cool thing that kind of surprised me was that we got an encore. Everyone wanted to hear us play ‘Radio.’ That means people have actually been listening to our CD, and better yet they actually knew it well enough to realize it was about hanging out at EJ’s. It was a pretty cool feeling to know that people pay attention to what you are doing.
Show Journal 1999-04-23
Zak’s Fifth Avenue again after only 144 hours. Here’s an interesting twist … when we walked in the sign said tonight … “Metal Night.” How we wound up playing on metal night I’ll never know. Anyway the show went pretty good, and we tried our best to give the metal fans a chance to throw up the ozzy sign and cheer for satan. We had to bail early and missed the other two bands but they both seemed like nice enough people, so I’m sure they did ok. Seeing as they were actually metal they couldn’t have gone wrong.
Show Journal 1999-04-17
Thank God that Seattle was a better show than tri-cities. Once again we played with the duo of Ample and Section One. Just like the last times they both still rock. Speaking of rock this was our first return to Zak’s since our big Seattle debut there last year at Hemp Fest. Finally that image can be wiped clean from my memory. Anyway, the show tonight went really well. The sound was good, we played well, blah blah blah. Best of all though, Bryan was able to play despite slicing off almost an inch of his finger the day before at work. Perhaps it was the mysterious powers of the Wing Dome which propelled him to such greatness. Hopefully some of the people will come back when we play there again in 6 more days.
Show Journal 1999-04-16
Ok, it’s time for some Jeopardy. The category is “Boring Shows in Small Towns.” For $200 dollars … “The number of people including the owner and soundguy at the last 800 Octane show.” I’m sorry your guess is too high … the correct answer is “What is 8.” You win nothing … thanks for playing punk rock Jeopardy.
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