The Kelvis



Hiding in the shadows. Lurking at night. He’s a zombified horror of cult delight. Well he’s out of the grave and onto the stage. The Kelvis walks at night.  He’s half Kevin, half Elvis. All evil, some pelvis. Part Satan, part Jesus. Evil lurks in the heart of Memphis. Severing the limbs of the teens who lose. He’s a zombified horror with an attitude. He said “baby, baby, don’t be cruel.” The Kelvis walks at night. Kill! Kill! Kelvis Kill!



Me and my girl. We walk down the beach. I always thought that she’d be just out of my reach. You know that girl. She’s an american beauty queen. I wonder what she’s doing with an ugly guy like me. And they can condescend. Just like the falling rain. But we’re on the tail of a shooting star. A shooting star that’s never seen again. I saw that angel on a Monday afternoon. Carrying her books on her way home from school. I said don’t be afraid. I’m not the monster that I seem. Let’s get on this rocket ship and we can share a dream. Baby hold on. Here comes the hereafter. Will it take long? Well I have the answer. It’s no. A thousand miles an hour puts us there Saturday. And maybe we can start today.



We’re rolling down to Burnside from eastside avenues. We always try to put some pride in everything we do. I can’t even tell you about half the stuff I’ve done cause you’d run. So put on your old combats and leather jackets too. We’re going down to EJ’s. We’re going to drink some brews. Just me and all my friends. “Hey Ho, Let’s Go” is on the radio. Get in the car, come on, let’s drive. Let’s go while the moon is still bright. We’ll head up on the hill to see the city lights. What are going to do? Where are you going to go? Well a few years ago I might not have known, but now I’m happy where I am. “Hey Ho, Let’s Go” is on the radio.


Still The Same

I said girl, don’t cry. Because you know that I can stay up all night. By your side. There ain’t nothing we can’t talk about tonight. And it’s ok, cause I’ll be here to light your way. It’s still the same. Sometimes I miss my dad. He was so stressed out that he almost had a heart attack. He never made it back. Still I can see him looking down in the clouds. Hey dad, did I ever make you proud, like I said I would someday? Still the same. The way it was years ago. I never had to be on my own. Hanging out with all my friends I’ve known so long. What would life be like if they were gone? Those days seem far away. When I was growing up all I ever wanted to do was play. And it’s still that way even though I feel so much older. Why are you weighted down? We only got so long before we’re buried in the ground. And I don’t want to go out that way.


Pimp Ray

Was watching my TV when a beam shot out at me. Next thing I knew I walked the streets. You should’ve seen it now. My mom would be so proud. Never thought that I could dress so chic. It came from outer space to blast the human race. Don’t make me get back in your face. The Pimp ray. You’re always giving now I want it back. The mighty Pimp ray. You make you money lying on your back. Don’t make me have to cut you with my blade. Cause it ain’t nothing for me. Let’s stop along the way. The same as yesterday. I’ve got a hat. I’ve got a blade. I’ve got my money made, a suit made out of suede. Don’t make me cut you with my blade. Blast you with my ray. I’ll cut you with my blade. Cause it ain’t nothing for me to cut you, fool!  I’ve come a long way. The same as yesterday. Don’t make me cut you with my blade. You should’ve seen it now. It all turned right around. After I cut them with my blade.



You’ve been shaken by all the turns your life has taken. Picked off the ground and thrown back down. Now your fire just don’t burn so bright no more. How does it feel to burn out? Tears in your eyes that you cannot hide. You’ve never stopped crying since the day he died. And you said it might be better if you pushed me aside. Now I feel so cold inside. Well if you want me to, I’d wait through time for you. I don’t know why you did me wrong. I let you string me along. Because your eyes don’t shine, but that will all heal in time. You’ve got to let things go if you want your love to show.  Living is so easy when your eyes are closed. Then pain is just a feeling that you will never know. You said this was a problem that you couldn’t control. Now there’s no place left to go. A year and a half of my time wasted. Feelings of love can all turn to hatred. I could tell you all the answers that I now, but would you use them in a way to help you grow? I don’t know.


The Amazing Criswell

You sit upon your throne of stone with the wolfman and the mummy. Come here, so near, Ghoulita dear. I think it’s pretty funny. Well you went to the graveyard to write your book. I think you should slow down, Bob. But now you missed the turn though your lights were on and look where you’ve ended up. It’s Orgy of the Dead. Worst movie that’s ever been made. The sun is coming up and then it’s right back in the grave. Said it’s way back when in 1965. And she danced so well she will be kept alive. The wolfman would have you for his own. I promised the mummy a reward. But don’t you fear you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t wrecked your Ford. Throw gold at her. More gold, I say. Then throw her in the pot. You think it has boiled her to death but look again- has not! I saw the movie long ago. Now up to a hundred times. I have memorized every scene and I can quote every line. So put your hand over your heart and say the pledge with pride. The finest film Ed Wood did make is one long fucked up ride. I said it’s way back when. Doesn’t mean we can’t do it again. Say baby, do you want to dance? I would if I had the chance but the sun came up. You have good luck. Its’ light has saved your life. There’s nothing left but bones and death so take Shirley to be your wife.


Golden Road

On a gray overcast day. I walked into the rain. Just to let it cool off my face. Just to let it cool off my mind. As I passed under the bridge, I hung out with some kids. We talked about the city and we talked about our lives. I said hello, goodbye, hello, where did your halo go? Did it fall off your head? Did you lose the golden road? And I said sorry my friend I think it’s time for me to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re here at all. And we talked about their dreams. I hope they all come true. And the stories that they shared will not be forgotten soon. I look for them when I pass. I passed by yesterday. But I don’t see them at all. I think the rain washed them away.


Alien Song

Well I was driving late one night. It was just the radio and the dashboard lights. There were no other cars in sight. Just me and the stars above that were shining. Like a million eyes. That watch over me as I pass along into dawn. Waiting for the sun. There will be no end in time. Well I didn’t know where I was. And the map I had could only tell me that I was lost. There was something above that I’d never seen before. Heading down with the lights a-glow. I pushed the pedal harder but the car never wanted to go. On the day that the earth stood still in Roswell, New Mexico. I saw them there. Over the USA. And I was going down when the sky cracked today. Just look up high. They’ve got to be up in the sky.



I regret the other night. I don’t know if what I did was right. I’ve been looking at the past so long that the future might be right but it still seems wrong. Walking through the city on a cloudy day. A thousand words in my head but not one I could say. Minutes ticking by like a countdown bomb. Never knew a second could ever last this long. But hey, I’m alright. I’ve just been looking through smoke stained eyes. And you just happened to catch me at the time I’d gone off track, but now I’m coming back. Never thought that this would happen. Never bet on this. Close your eyes for a second and look at all you miss. Putting back the puzzle pieces one by one. Watch the fire burning like a midnight sun. Well I want to rise like that spark to the sky but I don’t want to burn out before I die. Not every choice I made was right but I’ll look at this with open eyes. Never thought that I would get this far. Never thought that I would land so hard. Never thought that I would break in two. Never thought that I would fall for you. Never thought that I would lose control. Never thought that I would lose my soul. Never thought that I would ever change. Guess I’m never going to think again. I’ll never ever think again.


On My Side

Life. It’s on my side. So I won’t worry about a thing when it’s time to die. But when I do just lay me down and send me right into the ground and I’ll see you on the other side. Cause kids don’t really care. Yeah they don’t really know. They don’t really care but I’ve got a place to go. But they don’t really care about it. Some will try and try. They will look for all the answers by asking why. But I ain’t got the thing to tell them. When I learned I used my eyes and if I didn’t know I never did cry. I went to the beach just the other day. I was playing in the sun. I was laughing in the waves. But on the days that it’s raining or the days that it’s gray, I don’t sit inside. I still go out and play. So hey! Get up and move. There are so many things to just go out and do. No one ever found the answer just sitting in their room. And it might all be over soon.


Brand New Faces

A million days have passed since I was in high school. A million days but all my memories remain. I look back at all those days and wonder if I could ever go back would it still be the same? Too late for that. I can’t go back. And try if I may, my face shows my age. Those days in college always seemed to fly by. Me and my friends doing everything but what we should. A lot has changed in those few years. I hope my future stills looks as good. 1991, under a setting southern sun. That shines down on me. In a memory. The other day I drove to Vancouver. I went to go see one of my friends. He said do you ever talk to Paul or Heather? Said I haven’t in a while but I would like to again. And I’d love to back and visit all these places, but it would be brand new faces.